Into the Void

August 16th

Your mother screamed in horror when she saw me by the door, she was not dead, but it seems my presence made her situation even worse. The deal was never to taker her life away, but your birth tired her fragile body quite a lot. You were born from blood and death.

You, a tiny red creature who could never survive outside a womb, grew inside tubes and was fed through needles. I saw your limbs growing, one by one. First, your tiny legs, then your tiny arms. Fingerless protuberances, like an alien, even I doubted you were really a human being. Since from your first months you were a monster.

I gave you a womb, an umbilical chord, amniotic fluid and vitamins and soon, like a cancer, you grew bigger and bigger. Hair came out from your overly large head and the black holes on your face became small closed eyes. You eyelids were always very swollen, as if you’d been crying for a long time. It is fine, my monster, you have all the reasons in the world to cry. The only thing you deserve, afterall, is loneliness. 

The first thing you saw when I pulled out from the tube was a scissor, your first and only friend, a beautiful silver scissor which cut the only link you still had from a dreamy world. Creatures like you deserve no dreams or sympathy, and knowing that I will only give you what I’ve always known: Pain. 

You were left in a hospital bed and fed through more tubes until you were able to cry out loud, loud enough for me to hear from my room. Your nose and mouth were sore from my lack of care, and your stomach swollen. Disgusting. 

When you learned how to crawl, I left you in a basement. I secretly hoped you’d die, but cursed beings like you would never vanish so easily from this world. You learned how to eat and how to walk by yourself. You ate like a beast, walked like an animal and talked one and only one word: No. 

You screamed “no” when I hit you, or when I washed you by force. You screamed “no” when I marked your face and when I broke your legs. A monster, a mindless creature who knew only pain and hate. 

A monster who fits perfectly who I am. 

- Edmond Faust

After coming from a short trip to Urania I brought a trunk full of souvenirs for my good friends. And of course I could not forget about my old fiend (hah I’m so funny with these puns) Amon. This fine balljointed being perhaps will bring a smile to that tired face of his. Since his little bird died he has been overly depressed about life (and death). 

This is Janina, she is a living doll made by the Emperor of Urania. Her fine silky skin and lovely mannerisms will for sure conquer him. He just has got to be careful not to step on her tiny existence, for she is only 1,45m. She also comes with a set of clothes that I planned beforehand, because I knew Amon would dress her with silly earthian dresses.

Lionel has been trying to eat her since last night, I better keep her locked shut in my room while Amon’s birthday isn’t here. 

- Count Abel

Perhaps the cage I live in now is nowhere as tight as the cage of feelings I made around my heart a long time ago.

My story has no beginning; I’ve been flowing around just like time itself. What’s in question is how I became a tiny wooden doll, the young boy’s souvenir. A toy that, although heartless, has felt more than I’ve ever dreamed of.

My young brother used to reprehend because of my coldness, but it was only when he -the one and only who cared- stopped coming to my house that I realized I was beyond any salvation. Days blended into nights, and so did the ice to my soul. 

My servants, one by one, began to die. I wouldn’t care, I was too immersed in my own delirium to realize the dimension of what was happening. You see, I am the wizard of ice, and therefore, it is usually quite cold where I live. The weather does not matter, because I will bring snowstorms to wherever I go. And just like that, the place which has been known for centuries as a sunny land, became a desert of loneliness and death. Everything around me died, the trees, the people, and at last, myself.  It wasn’t a quick death, mind you, it took centuries to transform the old Wizard into what you see now. My hair was once a pale blond color, my skin used to be firm and young… But what you see now is only a carcass of myself.  The lack of mirrors in my house, though not on purpose, made me take longer to notice what happened.

In the biggest snowstorm my land has ever faced, I heard a knocking on my door. And of course I ignored it. But the knock kept on going, and being as irritable as I am, I told my servants to send the visitor off… But I had no more servants to order around. I went to the door myself and saw an old, old man. He asked for food and shelter, and in return he would suffice me a handful of wood to burn in the fireplace. I laughed. What use would I have for fire, why would the master of ice need any warmth in a perfectly frozen night? I shut the door, and the next thing I remember was being transformed into this pitiful form I am now. 

The old man was not the type of man I thought he was, he was in reality the worst kind of people I could have met in my days of bitterness: a tree. Ah yes, trees back then would roam around making spells and transforming bad people into dolls, you see. It would be easier if they stopped making such jokes and just informed who they were before you could get stuck forever into a toy’s body.

That being said, here I am: the first and only magnificent Wizard of Ice being played around by an ugly adolescent full of acne. This will certainly teach me how to be kind, hm? If you are reading this, tree, perhaps you should have gifted me a son, that would teach me just as much as this terrible curse is. The only thing I have learned so far is that I hate kids. No salvation for me, just an endless story that seems more like a fanfiction written by some fat teenager girl.

- Wizard